Africa, Atlantis, and the End of Time
May. 10th, 2010 07:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amataraHi, all! How have you been? It's been so long since I posted something decent I can hardly remember, but I have lots to tell to make up for that!
Holiday was all kinds of lovely - South Africa is a beautiful if strange country. Ever more beautiful because despite what we'd expected, even the more touristy bits like the Kruger Park still felt surprisingly quiet and unspoiled to us - though the fact it was still the low season may have had something to do with that. The less touristy parts, like the Drakensbergen, felt like a different world altogether.
And anyway, it is a different world, if only because it feels so very unsettling to be a white person there. Even though no one was actually unfriendly (well, except for that one lady at customs, who almost didn't let us into the country because our passport had supposedly expired, even though it hadn't, and - I blame an 11-hour night flight without any sleep - caused me to start bawling right in the middle of the airport *blushes*) somehow it was hard not to feel a little guilty over our being there. Never mind there no longer being Apartheid, the majority of good jobs are still held by white people, and the majority black people still live in townships or little villages without modern facilities, which made it feel vaguely wrong to be a white tourist there, with money in our pockets and driving around in shiny rental cars. But really, the people, both black and white, were exceptionally friendly, so we did feel more comfortable near the end. And there were black people staying at hotels (though not the most expensive) and pretty houses in the little Zulu villages, so things must be improving, if more slowly than one would hope.
As for the trip itself, it was wonderful, rich and relaxing. We loved the Kruger park, even though we didn't see the really spectacular animals like lions or leopards. But it was the end of the rainy season, which meant everything was green and blossoming - despite it being autumn, everything seemed to be in bloom! And we did see rhinos, elephant, giraffe, zebra, wild dogs, crocodiles, wildebeest, hippos, and heaps and heaps of birds and impalas and kudu. I'll try to put up a little picspam later this week, once I sorted all the pictures! Here's an elephant-y one:
What I loved the most - and miss already - is the rhythm of life there. We didn't take a computer with us, but I'd packed books and games and decks of cards, and writing pads and styluses and copies of a fic I'd been working on, convinced that I'd be grabbing for them in no time; then once we were there, I never even touched them once. Well, except for one book (Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys) of which I read half, in very tiny bits, but that was it. We got up at seven and went to bed at nine, even though we're both essentially evening people, and it felt the most natural thing in the world. And we filled our days with driving, walking, eating, sleeping. In a way, I'm almost sorry I didn't write anything there - I'd been looking forward to working on fic - but the urge just wasn't there, and really, that was okay.
Miscellany notable fact #1: British Airways, which we flew with, are apparently quite proud of their television history. As a result I ended up seeing Dr. Who: The end of Time on the flight to Johannesburg. Watching it, sleep-drunk and tired and in a weird kind of mood, I was filled with a deep and unexpected sense of loss that, even more surprisingly, stuck to me for the better part of the following day. Still, just as unexpectedly, I loved it to pieces. I say "unexpected" because, while I've enjoyed David Tennant's Doctor, I've never felt as emotionally invested in him as most other fans seem to be. Mostly, I think that's because I find it very, very hard to grasp the character's motivations, and hence to sympathize with him. For one, I'm still not sure why he keeps saving the world: out of nobility, or simply because he can, or because he can't stop doing it, or for a different reason altogether. Also, some of his less pretty sides - ego for one, his treatment of Martha for another - just plain annoyed me, and while he has redeeming qualities, none of them ever weighed heavily enough for me to actually sympathize with him for very long.
Let me stress, it's not that he's too dark for me. I love the kind of dark, messed-up, ambiguous characters that do horrible things and/or act like pricks while still having this pure, inbred kind of decency and selflessness. The problem's just - and I guess some if not most of you won't agree, but it's my gut feeling and I can't change it - up till now I wasn't convinced this Doctor is actually a selfless man. Not that he wasn't capable of selfless acts, because the way he'd unthinkingly and heroically give his life for any of his companions, or to save Earth, can certainly be called that. But mostly those were acts happening in the heat of conflict, when, you know, adrenalin has a large part in decisions, right?
What gripped me by the throat in End of Time was that no, this wasn't the great big heroic sacrifice this Doctor would have signed up for. Instead it was quiet and anticlimactic and unseen by anyone but Wilf - no adrenalin rush spurring him on, no more battles for the survival of Earth to be won. Just the life of one old, inconsequential man, and all the time in the world to walk away, just like Wilf asked. So for the first time (at least the first time I remember) we see the Doctor actually having to turn it over - to weigh his life against another's, and decide who lives - and faltering at the choice. And of course there isn't a choice, not really. Even though in the grand scheme of things Wilf isn't important, the Doctor can't walk away from this. But we see him, for a moment, wanting to, wanting to walk away and live, and then instead, making the choice not to.
I've seen people rant and rage about how the whole "I don't want to go" makes the Doctor look like a coward, that it's unworthy of the man he is, but to me it's just the opposite. To me, for the very first time, the Doctor showed his true courage, his true heart. Knowing he really, desperately, despite the loneliness, wanted to stay alive, and still sacrificed himself, is the ultimate heroism to me. In a way, it made him more human in my eyes than anything else ever did. And so for the first time, I really, honestly, got this Doctor, and felt for him, and - yes, loved him. Enough, even, that now I find myself wanting to rewatch parts of the series and see if I feel it there, too.
Apart from that, I do have some nitpicks about End of Time: for one, I can bear only so much of the Master acting like a raving lunatic - maybe because I don't have any Old Who baggage, I don't know - though I did love the final Doctor/Master exchange. And while I'm in the camp that's in favor of the goodbyes at the end, I was confused by the Doctor looking, for the most part, perfectly fine through all of it. Still, those and the other issues I had are dwarfed by everything else I felt while watching. So now, of course, I'll have to buy the Specials on DVD. Are the other ones, Planet of the dead and Waters of Mars worth it, actually? Or should I just buy The end of time separately, if I can?
Miscellany notable fact #2: Did I tell you I discovered Stargate: Atlantis? I did, didn't I? Did I also mention I'm loving it, irrationally and wildly, beyond any hope of recovery? I even wrote an SGA ficlet, if you'll believe it, during stolen half-hours on the train, in the few days before leaving on vacation. It was a surprise even to me that I did, and it's not ready for posting quite yet, and anyway, I don't even know if anyone who's reading here even watches Atlantis - if you do, raise your hand, maybe? But still, all of this is making me very happy. On the other hand, there's this Twin Peaks fic I'd really, really like to finish, as just leaving a 10000+ word WIP to rust would be a terrible, terrible waste, so any encouragement (or threats? :) ) you can offer on that account would be extremely helpful! ;)
Holiday was all kinds of lovely - South Africa is a beautiful if strange country. Ever more beautiful because despite what we'd expected, even the more touristy bits like the Kruger Park still felt surprisingly quiet and unspoiled to us - though the fact it was still the low season may have had something to do with that. The less touristy parts, like the Drakensbergen, felt like a different world altogether.
And anyway, it is a different world, if only because it feels so very unsettling to be a white person there. Even though no one was actually unfriendly (well, except for that one lady at customs, who almost didn't let us into the country because our passport had supposedly expired, even though it hadn't, and - I blame an 11-hour night flight without any sleep - caused me to start bawling right in the middle of the airport *blushes*) somehow it was hard not to feel a little guilty over our being there. Never mind there no longer being Apartheid, the majority of good jobs are still held by white people, and the majority black people still live in townships or little villages without modern facilities, which made it feel vaguely wrong to be a white tourist there, with money in our pockets and driving around in shiny rental cars. But really, the people, both black and white, were exceptionally friendly, so we did feel more comfortable near the end. And there were black people staying at hotels (though not the most expensive) and pretty houses in the little Zulu villages, so things must be improving, if more slowly than one would hope.
As for the trip itself, it was wonderful, rich and relaxing. We loved the Kruger park, even though we didn't see the really spectacular animals like lions or leopards. But it was the end of the rainy season, which meant everything was green and blossoming - despite it being autumn, everything seemed to be in bloom! And we did see rhinos, elephant, giraffe, zebra, wild dogs, crocodiles, wildebeest, hippos, and heaps and heaps of birds and impalas and kudu. I'll try to put up a little picspam later this week, once I sorted all the pictures! Here's an elephant-y one:
What I loved the most - and miss already - is the rhythm of life there. We didn't take a computer with us, but I'd packed books and games and decks of cards, and writing pads and styluses and copies of a fic I'd been working on, convinced that I'd be grabbing for them in no time; then once we were there, I never even touched them once. Well, except for one book (Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys) of which I read half, in very tiny bits, but that was it. We got up at seven and went to bed at nine, even though we're both essentially evening people, and it felt the most natural thing in the world. And we filled our days with driving, walking, eating, sleeping. In a way, I'm almost sorry I didn't write anything there - I'd been looking forward to working on fic - but the urge just wasn't there, and really, that was okay.
Miscellany notable fact #1: British Airways, which we flew with, are apparently quite proud of their television history. As a result I ended up seeing Dr. Who: The end of Time on the flight to Johannesburg. Watching it, sleep-drunk and tired and in a weird kind of mood, I was filled with a deep and unexpected sense of loss that, even more surprisingly, stuck to me for the better part of the following day. Still, just as unexpectedly, I loved it to pieces. I say "unexpected" because, while I've enjoyed David Tennant's Doctor, I've never felt as emotionally invested in him as most other fans seem to be. Mostly, I think that's because I find it very, very hard to grasp the character's motivations, and hence to sympathize with him. For one, I'm still not sure why he keeps saving the world: out of nobility, or simply because he can, or because he can't stop doing it, or for a different reason altogether. Also, some of his less pretty sides - ego for one, his treatment of Martha for another - just plain annoyed me, and while he has redeeming qualities, none of them ever weighed heavily enough for me to actually sympathize with him for very long.
Let me stress, it's not that he's too dark for me. I love the kind of dark, messed-up, ambiguous characters that do horrible things and/or act like pricks while still having this pure, inbred kind of decency and selflessness. The problem's just - and I guess some if not most of you won't agree, but it's my gut feeling and I can't change it - up till now I wasn't convinced this Doctor is actually a selfless man. Not that he wasn't capable of selfless acts, because the way he'd unthinkingly and heroically give his life for any of his companions, or to save Earth, can certainly be called that. But mostly those were acts happening in the heat of conflict, when, you know, adrenalin has a large part in decisions, right?
What gripped me by the throat in End of Time was that no, this wasn't the great big heroic sacrifice this Doctor would have signed up for. Instead it was quiet and anticlimactic and unseen by anyone but Wilf - no adrenalin rush spurring him on, no more battles for the survival of Earth to be won. Just the life of one old, inconsequential man, and all the time in the world to walk away, just like Wilf asked. So for the first time (at least the first time I remember) we see the Doctor actually having to turn it over - to weigh his life against another's, and decide who lives - and faltering at the choice. And of course there isn't a choice, not really. Even though in the grand scheme of things Wilf isn't important, the Doctor can't walk away from this. But we see him, for a moment, wanting to, wanting to walk away and live, and then instead, making the choice not to.
I've seen people rant and rage about how the whole "I don't want to go" makes the Doctor look like a coward, that it's unworthy of the man he is, but to me it's just the opposite. To me, for the very first time, the Doctor showed his true courage, his true heart. Knowing he really, desperately, despite the loneliness, wanted to stay alive, and still sacrificed himself, is the ultimate heroism to me. In a way, it made him more human in my eyes than anything else ever did. And so for the first time, I really, honestly, got this Doctor, and felt for him, and - yes, loved him. Enough, even, that now I find myself wanting to rewatch parts of the series and see if I feel it there, too.
Apart from that, I do have some nitpicks about End of Time: for one, I can bear only so much of the Master acting like a raving lunatic - maybe because I don't have any Old Who baggage, I don't know - though I did love the final Doctor/Master exchange. And while I'm in the camp that's in favor of the goodbyes at the end, I was confused by the Doctor looking, for the most part, perfectly fine through all of it. Still, those and the other issues I had are dwarfed by everything else I felt while watching. So now, of course, I'll have to buy the Specials on DVD. Are the other ones, Planet of the dead and Waters of Mars worth it, actually? Or should I just buy The end of time separately, if I can?
Miscellany notable fact #2: Did I tell you I discovered Stargate: Atlantis? I did, didn't I? Did I also mention I'm loving it, irrationally and wildly, beyond any hope of recovery? I even wrote an SGA ficlet, if you'll believe it, during stolen half-hours on the train, in the few days before leaving on vacation. It was a surprise even to me that I did, and it's not ready for posting quite yet, and anyway, I don't even know if anyone who's reading here even watches Atlantis - if you do, raise your hand, maybe? But still, all of this is making me very happy. On the other hand, there's this Twin Peaks fic I'd really, really like to finish, as just leaving a 10000+ word WIP to rust would be a terrible, terrible waste, so any encouragement (or threats? :) ) you can offer on that account would be extremely helpful! ;)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-11 01:47 am (UTC)Now you make me wish I had the time to get into either DW or SGA! *eyes shiny fandoms longingly*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-12 07:34 pm (UTC)And now you're making me wish you had time to get into DW or SGA, lol! Seriously, I'd recommend it! If I had to choose, I'd say go for SGA - not because it's better, but because it caught me completely by surprise in how fast my fannish love for it grew, and it's a show that lends itself perfectly to fannishness, imho. DW I'm enjoying too, but in a less fannish kind of way - though there's plenty of people who do get fannish about it, so I guess it's a matter of taste. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-11 05:50 am (UTC)About Doctor Who: I agree with you about the Ten not being selfless. I sometimes got the impression that saving Earth,the Universe and Everything was something he considers his right, more than his duty, and that his selflessness is actually an aspect of his arrogance -like no one else but him is worthy of being the hero. I don't have any example in mind and don't have time to look for them, but that's my feeling about Ten, and I like him like that. End of Time was one of his best moments, I think.
And Waters of Mars was definitely enjoyable.
I should mention that I have never seen SGA but am looking forward to that Twin Peaks fic, if that can encourage you.
Also, it has been my opinion for a long time that baby elephants are the cutest creatures ever.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-12 07:45 pm (UTC)I'm working on the Twin Peaks fic right now - and loving the characters all over again - so I'll get there! I'm considering now if I couldn't post it as two parts instead of all at once - it's certainly long enough for that (12kwords and counting). That would definitely help inciting me to finish, plus I'm itching to post some of it, but then again, if part 2 doesn't come together and I have to start tweaking part 1 again - not sure how that'd work. Also, let me take this opportunity to do some shameless pimping of SGA, which I never thought I'd get into as a fandom, but then had to admit the hype around the awesomeness of the characters was entirely justified.
The baby elephants melted my hearts! With their tiny little trunks and tiny little feet and... *awws*