No, no, no to the 'all doubts melt away' idea. If they do, you haven't really thought it out :)
There is no right or wrong or worst or best time to have kids. And your feelings are your own...they are what they are. Going thru a bit of a crisis with #2 right now, and believe me, it has occurred to me several times in the last 24 hours that this was all a huge mistake. .
Okay. I always wanted kids in that general vague way people do, and gave up completely on the idea when the love of my life announced No Way. I really thought I had reconciled myself to it. Fast forward to the eventual break-up and years of solitude to meeting the second love of my life. We both wanted kids, but were resigned to it never coming to pass. For various reasons we felt our relationship would never work out. (It's our 10 year anniversary this year, btw.) Things changed and we took a chance on us working out and there you are. The second kid took a lot more work. I do tend to advise (when asked) to not leave the baby lottery too late. Infertility and miscarriage are very no fun.
All major life events are leaps of faith. Marriage, buying a house, changing careers, having a child. I've never been sure about any of those.
As for fandom, I just got too busy. It takes an incredible amount of time and energy dealing with the infant/toddler/early childhood years. There wasn't much of me left over. My old friends had fallen away too. So when I left it was all conventions and fanzines and fan clubs...internet fandom was pretty new still. It was quite a shock coming back.
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Date: 2010-03-20 12:42 pm (UTC)There is no right or wrong or worst or best time to have kids. And your feelings are your own...they are what they are. Going thru a bit of a crisis with #2 right now, and believe me, it has occurred to me several times in the last 24 hours that this was all a huge mistake. .
Okay. I always wanted kids in that general vague way people do, and gave up completely on the idea when the love of my life announced No Way. I really thought I had reconciled myself to it. Fast forward to the eventual break-up and years of solitude to meeting the second love of my life. We both wanted kids, but were resigned to it never coming to pass. For various reasons we felt our relationship would never work out. (It's our 10 year anniversary this year, btw.) Things changed and we took a chance on us working out and there you are. The second kid took a lot more work. I do tend to advise (when asked) to not leave the baby lottery too late. Infertility and miscarriage are very no fun.
All major life events are leaps of faith. Marriage, buying a house, changing careers, having a child. I've never been sure about any of those.
As for fandom, I just got too busy. It takes an incredible amount of time and energy dealing with the infant/toddler/early childhood years. There wasn't much of me left over. My old friends had fallen away too. So when I left it was all conventions and fanzines and fan clubs...internet fandom was pretty new still. It was quite a shock coming back.