Poll: Fandom Love is (ir)rational, or is it?

[amatara]

I just came to a bit of a surprising conclusion. Well, no - I'm sure I've come to it before, but it's never really been as obvious as now. Said conclusion being: my compulsion to watch (or re-watch) a particular show is not at all proportionate to
#1 my opinion of said show's quality
#2 my enjoyment of said show during watching
Right now, I'm in the middle of catching up with several shows that are pretty new to me, and re-watching some others, and I've noticed that the pattern behind which DVD box I pick up on a particular night isn't quite what I would have expected.

For instance, last week when I was home sick, I gave Stargate Atlantis a try. SGA is one of those shows I never quite dared to watch - I'd always been a bit puzzled by the statements from fans saying they love it despite it not being that great, and the fact it's just about the top fandom on AO3 made me fear it would be - well, not that great, and overhyped, which... *scratches head*. So picking it over another show was purely random. And the thing was, I didn't find it that great, really. It was okay, but not overly well-written or overly original. Yet somehow - and I still can't quite believe I'm saying this - once I started watching, I couldn't stop. I even started looking on Youtube for vids and scenes from future seasons, and went hunting for fic, which I very rarely do actively (I'm a bit of a rec scavenger, really). And I don't even know why, apart from that the characters appeal to me, but... *boggles at self*

On the other hand, there are shows which I think are very well-made, and that I enjoy very much, yet the tempo at which I get through them is achingly slow because for some reason I don't always feel like watching them. Farscape is one example - I love the atmosphere, and the music, and the concept, and I like the characters well enough, but I don't get that more more more reflex and I don't know why. Then there's Star Trek: DS9, which I am enjoying more and more now we're into the second season, but there's no urgent compulsion to watch either. I'm wondering if that is because I don't have a favorite character (yet), because I'm very much of an emotional watcher, and connections to characters are important to me - but that's such a silly reason I don't know if it's true. Doctor Who is one of those shows where a season gets "consumed" rather quickly, as is Lost, but I'm guessing that's more because I buy them season per season, and am always behind on the rest of fandom, which helps to sharpen the urge. So far I've never re-watched any Lost or DW episode, and I'm pretty sure if I had to get through the entire series in one go, I would get stuck somewhere in the middle, never mind how brilliant I'm finding them. And I still don't quite understand why some two years back I raced through Babylon 5 at such feverish speed - it's a great arc show, but that can't have been the reason, nor the Narn and Centauri stuff, because I raced through the Earth and Minbari episodes all the same.

Such strangeness, I think, calls for ticky boxes!

[Poll #1539397][Poll #1539397]

On an entirely unrelated note, am back at work since last Thursday, and after two days of omg-I'm-hopelessly-behind panic, this week is actually going quite well. It helps I'm working on something which doesn't require that much thinking (well, at least it's not as brainwrecking as some of the other stuff), or that much planning, and which I need to do together with two colleagues so it's easier to keep morale high. Still tired, though; even though I sleep more, I'm more worn out in the morning than before. The fact that I've cut down on coffee doesn't help, I guess. :) Also, for some reason (maybe the blood pressure thingy, or the medication, or just the being tired) I worry more often, and get annoyed more often, and feel a little disconnected from people in a way I don't usually feel, which is somewhat *argh* and not easy to counteract. For one, I love my colleagues, but most of them are, um, very mannish men, and talking to them seems harder than it used to be. Same with RL friends - though that may have another reason, something to do with the fact all of them have kids now or want to have them asap, hence kids get talked about a lot, which I don't quite know what to do with. (I once typed up a huge post about why the fact that everyone my age seems to want kids now makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, because while I do want kids, I don't think I want them this very instant, which seems a bit of a taboo, really - but I never posted it, and that's a good thing, cause it was too silly. *sheepish grin* Typing it up made me feel better, though.) But anyway, I am slowly getting to the stage where I'm obsessively refreshing email, Friends pages and my LJ statistics, hoping something will happen that snaps me out of it. I'm sure it will pass, but it's annoying nonetheless. *sighs*

Comments

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

Sorry I skewed the poll, but so many answers needed ticked off! Irrational love is irrational. I do know that I need an entry character; most of the reason I never 'got' BSG was I didn't really care about anyone in the series. And I lost interest in Torchwood when I found out the end of S2. Plot is a biggie; you have to engage my mind, and if you surprise me? Oh boy. Light or dark or mixed doesn't matter. Music is important.

The drive to reproduce is as strong and often as irrational as fandom-love. Think of your friends as love-love-loving some show that you just kinda like sometimes. Maybe that will help. If they start having kids be prepared for them to go nutsy for a while. My kids babyhood and childhood corresponded with my 10 year break from fandom. I came back, though :)

[amatara.livejournal.com]

Actually, for me BSG was one of those rare shows I devoured without particularly liking most of the characters. :) I loved the premise, the look and sound and feel, most of the plot, and the fact the show was willing to make daring choices, both regarding plot and morality, and apparently that was enough to get me hooked. That, and the music, which was awesome. That was how I felt about the first few seasons, at least - later on, the plot weakened and the characters became annoying to me, which dimmed my enthusiasm a bit, alas.

Carrying on the kids-as-fandom metaphor: well, it is a bit disconcerting if everyone is raving about the brand-new season of Lost while I'm still hip-deep in my old familiar fandoms and a little afraid to lose touch with them, and actually Lost really is expensive, and maybe I'll feel better about buying it if I first saved some more, you know? *sheepish grin* No, seriously, I get the going nutsy, and of course when you have kids they become the thing that drives you. It's mainly that there's so much talk about biological clocks and maternal instinct and being a natural parent and all that, as in when you're ready to become a mum, you'll feel that uncontrollable urge and all doubts will melt away, while all I can think about is: what if I don't get that urge? What if I just keep going "well, it'd be nice to have kids one day" vague type of feeling for the rest of my life? It seems like everyone I know has been craving children for as long as they can remember. Not having a "mum instinct" makes me feel a little weird sometimes. (Also - a 10 year break from fandom? That sounds so scary. And wow for coming back afterwards! *g* ) How did it happen for you, the having kids, I mean? (If it's not too personal to ask.) Did you just wake up one day longing for a kid, or was it something gradual? (And I'm babbling, really. I'm sorry, it's just that it's so hard to find other people to talk to about this. If I try to explain to someone, they generally just look puzzled or say something about biological clocks, which - no, not what I'd hoped to hear. :) )

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

No, no, no to the 'all doubts melt away' idea. If they do, you haven't really thought it out :)

There is no right or wrong or worst or best time to have kids. And your feelings are your own...they are what they are. Going thru a bit of a crisis with #2 right now, and believe me, it has occurred to me several times in the last 24 hours that this was all a huge mistake. .

Okay. I always wanted kids in that general vague way people do, and gave up completely on the idea when the love of my life announced No Way. I really thought I had reconciled myself to it. Fast forward to the eventual break-up and years of solitude to meeting the second love of my life. We both wanted kids, but were resigned to it never coming to pass. For various reasons we felt our relationship would never work out. (It's our 10 year anniversary this year, btw.) Things changed and we took a chance on us working out and there you are. The second kid took a lot more work. I do tend to advise (when asked) to not leave the baby lottery too late. Infertility and miscarriage are very no fun.

All major life events are leaps of faith. Marriage, buying a house, changing careers, having a child. I've never been sure about any of those.

As for fandom, I just got too busy. It takes an incredible amount of time and energy dealing with the infant/toddler/early childhood years. There wasn't much of me left over. My old friends had fallen away too. So when I left it was all conventions and fanzines and fan clubs...internet fandom was pretty new still. It was quite a shock coming back.

[mithen.livejournal.com]

Very much agreeing on needing an "entry character"! B5, for example, moved from "Not bad, like the plot" to "I MUST WATCH ALL OF THIS" once Londo and G'Kar emerged into the tragic heroes they evolved into. Shippiness is delicious icing on the cake and will seal my love for all time. Boston Legal, for example--fell in love with Alan Shore very quickly, but it wasn't until I saw him and Denny really clicking that I went to find the whole thing and consume it.

Generally I don't care about plot speediness--character interaction is all. However, I will drop a show if I hear that it goes radically downhill or if it ends terribly. Huh, I hadn't quite made this connection--actually I did not go to find all of Boston legal until I was spoiled on the ending and thus reassured that Denny and Alan weren't going to end up not speaking to each other or something. A lot of my love for Star Trek: the Next Generation stems from the fact that it begins and ends with Picard and Q. And even though I was spoiled on the hideously depressing end of Blakes 7, the fact that it ended "shippily" (albeit in depressing ways) meant I was still hooked. Heroes, on the other hand, deliberately kept breaking up and re-shuffling the cast so no two characters interacted very often, and thus I could never seal the deal.

So the more I examine my viewing practices, the more I have to conclude it's a character that gets me interested, but a ship and the knowledge that the ship doesn't get ditched that seals my love. This actually contradicts some of my poll answers, lol. For example, I don't mind being spoiled as long as the spoilers tell me my ship stays afloat. And I don't mind an unbearable ending as long as my ship is part of it. I'm apparently an unreformed shipper when it comes right down to it. :P I find this oddly shameful, I have to admit. It just seems kind of...crass, somehow.

[amatara.livejournal.com]

Mostly it's about characters for me, too - but not always. For instance, I was pretty much addicted to BSG and raced through it at inhuman speed, while to be honest I didn't have much sympathy for most of the characters. There were a few I liked, but no real favorites either. Same goes for shows like Lost and Carnivale, where I liked the plot, the mystery and the tension more than any character. (Though with Lost that's changed a bit over the seasons, and some characters have become favorites.) But it's probably not a coincidence that I never went looking for fic in any of those fandoms - for that I do need a character to connect to.

Having a favorite pairing can definitely help me enjoy a show more *mumbleB5mumble*, but it's not essential. For fanfic it depends. There are shows which are almost pure gen to me (ST: TOS, for one :) ) and where I prefer to stay away from shippy fic unless it's very platonic or very well-written, and in some others I go looking for the shippy fic first. No logic in there, I'm afraid. *g*

[maspalio.livejournal.com]

For me, there is a difference between loving a show and being fannish about it.

I love shows that are well done and have a good plot and/or great atmosphere. I am a fan of characters and pairings. I will watch any show I enjoy through the end as quickly as I can. If it's very good, I will slow down near the end so that it isn't over too soon. I may read some fanfic about these if they are good, but I won't stick in the fandom.

If you want me craving fics, then it's characters I need, and character interactions, even if the plot is only decent. Although what it is in fictional characters make me fall in fannish love is still a mystery.

My all time favourites show are those that have it all -great plot and great characters, which may end with me developing an unhealthy obsession. That's the category B5 is in.

As for question 3... do videogames count? Because I have been known to replay every Pokémon game in my possession a bit too much, despite them not being all that great. It never happened to me with a TV show, though.

[amatara.livejournal.com]

I think I agree with a lot of what you say. :) The main point of difference being that, even if I'm very much enjoying a show, I won't always race through to the end. Also, the devouring a show and devouring fic about it are two entirely independent things for me. Between BSG, Carnivale, and Lost, which are all shows I've been somewhat addicted to, I probably read less than 10 fics altogether, and then only because some people were reccing them. So yes, I'm totally with you in that my craving for fic depends on my craving more of a particular character (or small group of characters, or a pairing).

Videogames, oh yes! I was never a rabid player, but I do remember the games I found most addictive were actually the ones that frustrated me most. I had a Star Trek PC game (Birth of the Federation or something?) that I was convinced had a bug because it was absolutely unwinnable (to me, at least *g*) even at the easiest setting, yet I kept playing it anyway. So I know what you're saying. As for B5 having great plot and great characters - I won't dispute that, except I didn't find the first season to be all that excellent, or to have such great character moments, but it got me hooked anyway. One of life's mysteries, I guess. :)