Lost rewatch: "The Man Behind the Curtain" thinky thoughts

[amatara]

Oh, Ben. There's exactly one person who, at this point, could give your life some purpose again, and you just shot him in cold blood? All because you're too terrified of losing what you have (and, honestly, what do you have that's so worth killing John Locke for? Except for the "being in charge" part, which has to taste pretty stale by now, seeing as how Jacob gave you cancer. Besides, I thought it wasn't about you anyway, just about serving the Island? *ironic look*) to even consider what you could gain if you'd put aside your envy for just two seconds. You could have been glorious, dammit, you and him and the Island! And then of course, just a year later, just when we think you've learned, you have to go and do it again - only then there's no Deus Ex Machina around to bring him back. Talk about a waste. And now I don't even know if I want to punch you in the face or hug you to death! Ahhh - Ben, you glorious poor damaged woobie bastard, what you do to me.

Of course, it doesn't help that Locke is almost insufferably smooth about all of this, from the moment he plunks Anthony Cooper's body down at Ben's feet to the second Ben guns him in the tummy. I mean, walking around grinning and eating mangoes and generally acting like he already owns the place? Guess Sawyer killing his dad really relieved him of some issues here - or else it's a facade, but it sure doesn't look like that to me. And the sheer amount of nonchalance he displays in looking for Jacob, then afterwards following Ben to a mass grave without even once worrying about his intentions, is either hopelessly naive, or hopelessly overconfident, or both. Though, of course, one can debate the "over-" in "overcondifence", as in the end Locke was right and the island saved him. But he didn't look too convinced of that while he was lying in that ditch, bleeding to death. Speaking of which, I'd completely forgotten about this being the episode that happened in, and once again I totally didn't see it coming. Show, you remain fabulous.

Incidentally, about Jacob's cabin: I've read discussions recently about how it's supposedly Smokey's cabin and not Jacob's, but that doesn't make too much sense to me, not at this point in time anyway. Could anyone explain that theory? Regarding the white ashes around the cabin: as it seems Smokey's free to roam the island and so not confined to the area around the cabin (or is he?) I assumed the purpose of the ashes was to keep Smokey out rather than in. Also, we've only ever seen Smokey in his black-smoke shape or in a human body, never invisible. And the whole throwing a temper tantrum then wailing "help me" somehow seems more like a Jacob than a Smokey thing to me. If anything, Smokey always came across to me as direct, which this - really wasn't. Anyway, any discussion or clarification on this would be appreciated!

Little Ben, in the meantime, proves a marvelous casting choice (the little nerdy glasses, "Dr. Linus"-style! *awwww* Uh, it's probably not hard to tell I'm in a bit of a squeeing-over-Ben mood?). And I love how they wrote him as being the kind of child we can empathize with, but already with that hint of darkness around him. (Sending the bunny through the fence first? Bad form, Ben!) As for the scene where he killed his father, well... *shivers* What struck me most about that was how, even with Roger making an effort to be kind there at the end, that didn't seem to make a difference to Ben anymore. It looked like it all went right through him. Of course, Ben being Ben, you never quite know what's going on behind that stiff-lipped face of his, but still...

Finally, Ben's dead mom shows up, tempting him to sneak outside and make a pact with the Others. So who is she, anyway? His mom didn't die on the island, as Richard made a point of asking, so I'm assuming it's not Smokey this time. I'm also assuming Ben, contrary to some other characters, can't simply see dead people, so who is it that's pretending to be his mother? Jacob himself? It would make sense for Jacob to try and get Ben in touch with the Others, but can Jacob even do that? I'm confused.

Oh, and in the category of Silly Stuff That Makes Me Happy: I ran into this funny and heartwarming Ben 'n 'Locke video, which made for a great distraction amidst all the rewatch angst. Just the music is enough to make me feel all glowy inside. *grins and keeps grinning*

Also: signed up for Yuletide! For one of my requests there were no offers at all, I noticed today, but the others do, so I'll be good. And I dipped into some fandoms I've never written before, so I'm looking forward to that. Now, off to write my Dear Author Letter!