amatara: (yuletide tree)
The Yuletide 2011 collection has opened! I wasn't an official participant this year, but my recipients liked their respective Yuletide treats, which made me happy. I do intend to sign up again next year, if I can - I missed the squeeing over assignments and the obsessively checking the 'gifts' tag at AO3 and the joy of opening one's present - but I had a good time!

Off to eat leftover Christmas turkey now, and little pears filled with dried cranberries. :)

And a number of quick Yuletide recs, in random order:

From the Dirt - Carnivale
Rating: General Audiences
Characters: Clayton Jones, Ben Hawkins, Sofie Bojakshiya
Summary: 'The lights glittered in their eyes, reflecting the new and strange visions their minds hadn’t dared to imagine.' A glimpse of the world as seen from the base of the Ferris Wheel.

By Narrow Domestic Walls - Twin Peaks
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Characters: Dale Cooper, Albert Rosenfield, Gordon Cole
Summary: Albert doesn’t believe in ‘meant to be’. They don’t naturally mesh: Cooper wanted to do over the guest room with reed matting and make a meditation room; Albert wanted to make an office. So they built an office with a Zen garden. Albert appreciates sleek, modern furniture; Cooper likes Eastern antiques. So now their apartment is decked out in sleekly modern furniture imported from Tibet. Albert prefers quiet when he sleeps; Cooper drifts off listening to Tuvan throat singing. Albert has gotten used to earplugs. At each turn, one or both of them have seen their way through to a solution. The result is not so much a ‘normal life’ as it is a life that’s right for them, and insane for everyone else.

Better With Tentacles - Galaxy Quest (1999)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Fred Kwan/Laliari
Characters: Guy Fleegman, Jason Nesmith, Alexander Dane, Gwen DeMarco, Fred Kwan, Laliari (Galaxy Quest)
Summary: Guy has found religion, Gwen has found shippers and Fred will, eventually, find his pants.

Persuasion in the City - Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Rating: General Audiences
Characters: Samuel Vimes, Angua von Uberwald, Jane Gordon
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a text in possession of more than a passing reference to a certain literary work that shall not be named, must begin with the phrase 'It is a truth universally acknowledged'.

*flails*

Jul. 16th, 2011 01:38 pm
amatara: (SGA Elizabeth)
In lieu of a proper post, have a list of flail... *sigh*

1. I'm just - so - tired. Not plain sleepy tired or overworked-tired but the kind of numbing, inexplicable, queasy, drill-through-the-head kind of exhaustion that crashes into you without warning and leaves you wanting nothing else than to curl up on the sofa and sleep, sleep, sleep. The only time I've had this before was last year when I struggled with blood pressure shenanigans, but last year I was in the middle of a grueling project at work so there was really no doubt about it being work-related. Then Project of Doom finished last March, and in May husband and I took a three-week-holiday during which I was still tired (to the point of being forced to have dinner of cookies and crisps in the hotel room a few times because I didn't feel up to getting out of bed). And now I've started work on a follow-up project which is admittedly intense, but nothing compared to the amount of work I pulled off last year, and I'm still tired.

It's not as bad as during those few weeks last year when I was a total wreck, but it's just that it won't pass this time, no matter how much I try to catch up on sleep. I had my blood tested, but it turned up nothing. So now I'm cautiously starting to wrap my head around thoughts that rhyme with 'burn-out' and wondering if it's possible that Project of Doom wore me out more than I thought it had. Very cautiously, mind you, but it's either that or getting scared that it'll turn out to be something else altogether, which is helpful to no one.

2. Being tired makes me irritable and prone to overreacting, which doesn't help things. Especially since I'm now teamed up with a colleague who is the sweetest guy on earth but also a bundle of nerves like you wouldn't believe. He's a fountain of knowledge, but he also needs constant hand-holding and reassurance about everything ranging from his priorities to the wording of his emails. I'm not sure if I feel up to being the anchor of his professional universe right now.

3. More complicating factors: they've just started construction on what's going to be our future home, which is fun and thrilling but also brings a lot of important decisions. Between that, work, and the diet I've been on (I put on a few kilos over the last years, and was wondering if those could be part of the cause for my health issues, so - death to those kilos!) it feels like I'm doing little else than working my way through to-do lists these days. Husband is helpful and supportive and is doing a great job making life easier for me, but he has a busy job of his own so there's only so much he can do.

4. I AM IN A FANNISH EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, GUYS.

Fandom's still my haven, but I'm so passive in it these days and it's driving me crazy. I hardly post anymore, and whenever I think about those help_japan stories I still need to finish, I freeze up. I had an upsurge of fannish energy after watching X-Men: First Classand even wrote a short story, but it hasn't lasted. I got as far as typing up a few ideas for the B5 fic I owe [profile] crossing_hades, but I'll need to re-watch some episodes in order to write something half decent, and just - PANIC. (Anyone who can give me some pointers on what would be the essential eps to re-watch for a post-canon G'Kar & Lyta story? Would be a life-saver. I'm pretty confident about post-canon G'Kar, but Lyta - not so much.)

Basically I've just been reading fic and browsing other people's journals, which is when husband usually (and rightfully) drops the question if I wouldn't be better off (A) sleeping, or (B) working on the plans for the house. I can't help thinking he may be right. But then, of course, the moment I stop writing fic is inevitably the moment I start thinking thoughts like "why am I writing anyway" and "if I stop writing, will people even remember any of my stories" and "omg I never get recced ever" (which isn't quite true, but, you know, drama queen) and "whatever I do, I'll never make a lasting impression with my fanfic like other/better/more prolific writers do" and... well, you know. I know it's irrational. It's unnecessary. It's stupid. Yet I can't seem to stop myself.

Cheer me up, guys, please! Cheer-lead me, pat my vitual shoulder, tell me you'll stil be re-reading my fic when you're old and worn and tucked away in a nursing home. Hug me, link me to vids, fics, stuff to make me smile. Be awesome. Be here.

5. On a positive note: going to see the new Harry Potter later today. I have been looking forward to this for so long. The trailers all looked so very awesome. And it's quite possible is this still spoiling anyone? ) will make me cry.

6. Oh, and another positive note! (see? Things aren't half bad when you start to think about it. :) ) Saw the first episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day. The old-fashioned way, Thursday night on BBC. And loved it. Oh Gwen, Rhys, Jack.

amatara: (TP Cooper and Albert)
#1 [livejournal.com profile] help_japan update: I officially owe fics to two winning bidders, and made unofficial promises to write two more ficlets, which was - ambitious, for sure. I was hoping to get these all done by the end of this month, but due to a combination of real life (work! vacation! planning for Our House That Still Needs To Be Built but should start to rise out of the ground pretty soon now!) and a stubborn case of writer's block, I've finished only one so far. Here you go, [livejournal.com profile] faelhach, this one's for you! To[livejournal.com profile] yetanothermask: hope you'll forgive the delay, but I'll get this done and get it done properly, don't you worry a bit. Thank you both again!

#2 Did I mention the house, and that they're going to start construction on it soon? I did, didn't I? Giddiness and panic in one package! But it's going to be great... I hope. *takes deep breaths*

#3 Went to see X-Men: First Class last week, like nearly everyone else here, and loved it. Also, as was wholly and hopelessly to be foreseen, fell like a brick for James McAvoy's Charles. *sigh* Why so predictable, self?
I'm not complaining, mind you! If there's one regret I have it's that I'm hardly familiar with the rest of the canon (I saw the first movie and that's it) but right now I'm having far too much fun keeping up with the growing list of fics on AO3 to mind too badly. The only complication (apart from the general one of *omfgTIME*) is that I'd love to dive into the fic-writing fun for a little while, but lack of canon knowledge isn't too beneficial for morale. Ah, fannish life...

Now, on to fic!

Title:
For in That Sleep of Death What Dreams May Come. Written for [livejournal.com profile] faelhach for [livejournal.com profile] help_japan .
Summary: Coming face to face with evil is not Dale Cooper's prerogative. Albert would know.
Rating: Gen (with some slashy undertones), rated R for potentially disturbing/triggery content. Brief warning: Contains mentions of sexual abuse of a minor, which may be considered triggery. The mentioned event doesn't involve the main characters, though, and I kept the descriptions deliberately vague. Just thought it would be best to put this on the label anyway.
Word Count: ~6000
Thanks to:
[livejournal.com profile] nemo_everbeing, for the awesome and lightning-speed beta job.

or read it on AO3.


With the sun down, the temperature was dropping fast. Albert told himself it was simply the cold that led him to turn up his collar and thrust his free hand deep into his jacket pocket. He was acting like an idiot.  )


amatara: (Vir Cotto - growth)
Yesterday, my husband's grandmother passed away after complications resulting from brain surgery.

The day after tomorrow, husband and I are leaving on a three-week holiday.

This is... an odd feeling.

Husband and I have talked about the holiday, and we both agree we're not going to change our plans. For one, cancelling it now would be an incredible hassle, not to mention very expensive (plane tickets, rental car, hotels have all been booked and paid for in advance), but also, we really still want to go. And that, too, is an odd feeling.

Rationally speaking, of course, there isn't much we could do anyway if we stayed. Except, you know, mourn, and maybe spend some more time with husband's family, and go to the funeral, which we'll be missing now. On the other hand we've been looking forward to this vacation for a very long time, and it will probably be the very last really big trip we're going to take for quite some years. This summer they'll be starting construction of our house so there'll be bills to pay, and once we've moved into the house chances are we're going to start thinking about kids, so... yeah. This was a bit of a symbolic vacation for us in that context. That, and we both had one hell of a tough year professionally, and both desperately feel like we need a break from work. So yeah... we'll be going. And when we're there we'll think of home, probably a lot more than we'd do otherwise, but we still intend to have as good a time as we can anyway. Which feels... odd, but not quite wrong.

Life and death, right? Can't have one without the other.


*

On a less melancholy note: [livejournal.com profile] help_japan! I won fic by the lovely [livejournal.com profile] kangeiko and [livejournal.com profile] heartequals, and was won by the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] yetanothermask and [livejournal.com profile] faelhach, for whom I'll be writing Babylon 5 and Twin Peaks fic, respectively, in return for their generous donations.


I may or may not have access to Internet a few times in the next three weeks, but I'm not sure and I'm not quite counting on it - so please don't worry if you try to contact me and don't hear back from me for a while. I'll reply as soon as I'm able, in the week of 10th May at the latest.


amatara: (Default)
A short note, to say just two things, really.

#1 We bought the house. Zomg WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE. Well, technically speaking it's not a house yet, it's plans for a house that still needs to be built in a street that isn't there yet, but if all goes well, the actual house should be there by the end of 2011. Which is - still slightly stunning to contemplate. We're getting a house. Wow.

#2 After a lot of stressing out over Europe's airspace closure due to the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland erupting and spewing ash all over, it finally seems like we'll be able to leave on our long-anticipated holiday tomorrow! *wipes sweat off face* Destination: South Africa! I'm not taking a computer, so it will be an internet-less holiday. I'm hoping to come back relaxed and with lots of fresh inspiration!

How are you all doing? I'm still pretty much swamped by RL stuff, so have been sucking not only at posting but at reading too. Is there anything big that I missed? 

ETA

Mar. 30th, 2010 10:22 pm
amatara: (Default)
It's been pretty long since I've given a sign of (online) life lately, so - just a line to say that might stay the case for a while longer. I know I still owe some of you an email reply, or a comment reply, or feedback on fics, but I'm still drowning a little bit at the moment, so... please, don't think I'm ignoring y'all. I'll get to it eventually, don't you worry.

On a positive note: one of the reasons for the drowning is that, if all goes well, we'll be signing a contract to buy a house (well, strictly speaking it's not a house yet, it still needs to be built, but never mind) sometime veeeerrrry soon! *is bouncy and nervous* Wish us luck!
amatara: (Default)

Various reasons for squeeing:

- Just started watching season 4 of New Who, and I already love Donna to pieces. That silent exchange between her and The Doctor in Partners in Crime, pulling faces through the glass.. *can't stop grinning*. And I love that, despite the fact she's been looking for him for ages and wants to travel with him more than anything in the world, she's not at all the weak one in the relationship. Donna does not take the Doctor's crap, no she doesn't! *cheers Donna* Also, the ending of the Pompeii episode, "Just save someone!" - just perfect. Incidentally, I am finding Ten less and less sympathetic. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the hell out of watching him, and I'm still impressed by DT's performance, but - getting whiny over how brilliant Martha was, and that he'd destroyed half her life? Cowardly move, Doctor, for one who's supposedly so brave. You could have told Martha that, just once, couldn't you? *is still fuming a little*

- Also watched the first episodes of Farscape, and the pilot of Stargate Atlantis. Love the atmosphere of Farscape: very psychedelic in a way, the music, the d├ęcor. Love Zhaan, Aeryn and John, and the others are growing on me, even though I haven't quite reached the point yet where I stop seeing Rygel, Pilot and the others as puppets. Atlantis I wanted to try because it seems to be one of the top fic-producing fandoms these days - despite many of the fans claiming half of the episodes are bad bad bad, which is a little puzzling to me, I must admit. :) I'm pretty neutral about the pilot: it wasn't bad at all, yet I'm not super-tickled to continue looking either. Not yet, anyway, I guess we'll see.

- Bought Torchwood: Children of Earth, and will probably watch it once we've finished New Who s4 - I'm not sure the two will mix well. My main reason for buying it right now, rather than waiting a little longer, being: I was planning to go to FedCon (a yearly convention in Bonn, Germany) and Gareth David-Lloyd aka Ianto Jones will be there. So I figured, unless I want to get spoiled all over, better watch the thing now. Except I now realized I won't be able to go to the con as it's smack in our April South-Africa holiday. Pity and shame (not the holiday, of course, but missing the Con) as I was hoping some other European LJ-ers might be there too...? Anyway, there's always next year!


In me news:

Health has been a bit sketchy of late, which the control freak in me does not like at all. I don't think it's serious, just impractical - mainly a case of having funny spells at weird moments, for no obvious reason.

Cut as I can imagine not everyone'll find this interesting. ;) )

Conclusion: I, um, may need to take it easy for a little while, fandom-wise, until I'm back on my feet. Seeing as both work and house-hunting are pretty much obligatory now, the only thing that's left for me to exchange for sleep is online time. *sniffles* I'll keep on reading and interacting and maybe posting some smaller stuff, but I'm going to try and lay off on fics and bigger stuff for a while. Meanwhile - send me virtual chocolate and fic recs? *shameless*
amatara: (Default)


Just for anyone wondering where I've gone: husband and I are presently in the process of Stressing Out Over Buying A House. Saw one we really loved, are now busy counting our cash and gnawing off our fingernails up to our elbows. A decision might have to be made today. This freaks me out no small amount.

Keep your fingers crossed for us, please?

More later, once my fingers have stopped shaking enough for me to type.

Update: False alarm, alas... we decided not to buy. Ah, well, I'm sure there will be other houses. Let's just hope my nerves hold that long. :)
.

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