amatara: (g'kar)
These past few days I've been on a short but lovely trip to Berlin, and I think vacation has helped me to recapture just the mood I needed to polish this chapter: happy, kind of mellow, but with a touch of melancholy to sharpen the edges. A perfect Londo/G’Kar mood, in other words. :)

This is one chapter I feel quite nervous - not to mention slightly giddy - about, as it contains the only interaction Londo and G’Kar will most likely have in this story. (That is, unless I end up changing my mind about not writing the death scene itself, which canon has already shown us with such poetic perfection.) So any thoughts any of you have would be welcomed and loved!


Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (11/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo’s ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime’s eventual liberation from the Drakh.

(In which G’Kar comes to Centauri Prime and there is a reunion of sorts, in the most fitting of places.)
 

amatara: (Timov and Londo)
Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (10/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

(In which Londo gambles and loses, and the wheel spins.)
amatara: (Timov and Londo)
Not a Londo chapter, like I'd planned, but a Timov one first!

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (9/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

(In which Timov bends her principles, and there is some quiet before the storm.)
amatara: (Vir Cotto - growth)
Aaannd we're here with a new installment of our Centauri Prime saga.

This chapter got away from me a little - at first, I had a hard time getting into the flow of writing it, and then once I did I couldn't make myself stop. But anyway, this is where the plot slowly starts to thicken, and for the first time while writing this story I really felt that storyteller's thrill of seeing some of the pieces begin to come together. I have everything plotted out pretty tightly, in the sense that I have a decent idea of what should happen in each chapter, who will be the narrator, when certain characters will have to do certain things to serve the plot and how to get them into a position where they can do it. I've never written longfic before so this is a whole new experience for me, but I'm amazed at how satisfying I'm finding it. Exhausting too - I'm going to sleep and waking up with this story - but so far it's been very much worth it. I also think I've passed the halfway mark where the number of chapters, and I'm loving that nervous thrill of hoping I can get it all tied together. *crosses fingers it will stay that way*

Anyway, hope you all enjoy this! By the way, the chapter after this one will be Londo again, for anyone who wonders. :)

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (8/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

(In which Earth is in shock, and so is Vir, though not quite for the same reasons.)
amatara: (g'kar)

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (7/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

(In which G’Kar mourns Lyta, and meets an old friend on Minbar.
)

Also, I'm proud to say this story now has its very own cover art! *beams*

Cover art

Many, many thanks to ghanimasun for letting me borrow one of her beautiful graphics to make this!
amatara: (Londo and G'Kar - armies cannot stand)
It seems I'm more shallow than I thought, because for some reason writing 3000 words of the Drakh punishing Londo (well, not 3000 words of actual punishment, but a 3000-word scene of which about 10 percent is punishment and the rest is talking plus aftermath) went much more smoothly than writing a 3000-word scene about awesome Centauri ladies and politics. Which doesn't mean I spent less effort on the ladies and politics scene, mind you; rather the contrary, but... well, you know. *g*

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (6/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

In which Vir comes to visit, Timov spills a secret, and Londo has to pay the price.


I have a question, too. Not too long ago I put up a poll asking if it would make a difference to any of you if I started posting fic exclusively on AO3, to which most of you replied no, not at all. Now that I've actually made the switch to just posting on AO3 and putting up the link here, I thought I'd ask once again. My personal feeling - though it might be based on coincidence - is that it doesn't make any difference in terms of who seems to be reading and/or commenting, but I do get the impression that it's harder, or at least less natural on AO3 to have conversations in the comments than it is on DW or LJ. Is it just me, or is this a feeling some of you share? I'm hardly complaining - any comment is very much appreciated, whether it turns into a conversation or not, and I'm not side-eyeing anyone for anything - but I do feel like there's a difference, so I'm really interested to hear other fic writers' thoughts about this. (Like, apparently on AO3 it is a thing that people complain about conversations in the comments inflating the comment counts? Personally, I don't mind this at all, but I can see how it might end up being a factor.)

amatara: (Timov and Londo)
And the story continues...

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (5/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

In which someone takes matters into their own hands, and Timov is surprised but takes it all in stride. Most of it, anyway.

As always, any feedback is loved.
amatara: (Vir Cotto - growth)
And here we are with the fourth chapter - which also happens to the first one in which we're leaving the canon timeline behind and veering off into unexplored territory! It's Vir's thoughts we're delving into this time, as he receives a message from an unexpected source. Hope you all enjoy this! Next chapter, by the way, will focus on Timov again as we return to Centauri Prime.

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley (4/?)
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.

As always, any feedback is loved.

(He couldn't breathe. That was the first thought that went through his mind. He couldn't breathe, and there was smoke everywhere, thick, cloying tendrils seeping into his lungs. His footsteps thumped against the floor as he pushed his way past silk curtains and through gold-studded doors.)


amatara: (g'kar)
Another chapter is up and posted - this time, with G'Kar and Vir as our main protagonists. Writing G'Kar was hard, for some reason; I had to keep rewatching bits of the show before I could hear his voice in my head again, which made me a little sad (where is the time when I knew all of G'Kar's lines by heart and could pull out his voice whenever I needed it? *sniffs*). But I loved writing him again, especially in combination with Vir. Hope you all enjoy this!

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.
Chapter 3 summary: As G'Kar is preparing to leave the station, Vir comes bearing brivari and a great many questions.
Chapter 3 characters: G'Kar, Vir Cotto.

As always, any feedback is loved!

(G'Kar had thought himself quite adept at masking emotion. But this time it must have been plain on his face, because Vir looked down and busied himself pouring the brivari – a generous swig for G'Kar and a more modest amount for himself.)

amatara: (Timov and Londo)
Second chapter has been posted on AO3! The rest of the story is slowly starting to take shape in my mind, although that also means I'm starting to realize just how many loose ends are going to need tying up before it's all done, eep!  *takes deep breaths* One chapter at a time, and we'll get there...

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley
Fandom: Babylon 5
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Story summary: What really happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? A multi-chapter story, intended to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.
Chapter 2 summary: Vir contacts Timov after Londo has told him to leave Centauri Prime. She goes to meet Londo after his coronation, making him a proposal that ends up surprising both of them.
Chapter 2 characters: Timov, Londo Mollari.

As always, any feedback or discussion is welcome!

(All her life Timov had loathed being a nobleman's wife, a pretty trinket to parade in front of others. She'd long stopped thinking of herself as pretty, but the rest was no less true today than it had ever been. Except where once she had defied Londo openly, flaunting her insolence for everyone to see, right now she felt strangely protective of him. Centauri emperors did not generally lead long, fruitful lives.)


amatara: (Londo and G'Kar - armies cannot stand)
Aaaannnnd we have liftoff! :)

I just finished and posted the first chapter of the B5 post-series story I was brainstorming about earlier this week. I honestly have no idea how quickly I'm going to be able to make progress on this, but I'll be trying to have the next chapter ready for you in a week or so. *knocks on wood* In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this first effort!

Title: Though I Walk Through the Valley
Fandom: Babylon 5
Summary: So what happened during those sixteen long years in which Londo waited for the prophecies to come true? An attempt to bridge the gap between Londo's ascension to the throne and Centauri Prime's eventual liberation from the Drakh.
Characters: Londo Mollari, Vir Cotto. Expected to appear in later chapters: Timov, G'Kar, Delenn, Lennier, possibly others.
Category/Rating: gen-ish (with some background pairings), PG-13
Author's Notes: This is basically an alternate version of the events post-Fall of Centauri Prime; alternate, that is, to Peter David's Legions of Fire trilogy. I do not presume to match Mr. David in terms of writing skill, but I did miss a number of things in his novels, which led me to try to write my own take on events. I am not considering the trilogy to be canon, and no knowledge of the novels is required to read this. The story takes off during the season-five episode The Fall of Centauri Prime and covers the sixteen-year period until Londo's eventual death (so yes, it will have - canon - character death eventually).
Thanks to: All of you who were so enthusiastic at the prospect of this story that I couldn't *not* take the plunge and give it a try!

As always, any feedback or discussion is welcome! Even more so because this is a work in progress, meaning I can actually try to incorporate suggestions and requests.

(It was clear from the set of Vir's shoulders that he was afraid, and that Londo was the cause of it. Not simply because he was about to become Emperor, but for what it might change between them. What it had already changed.)

amatara: (Timov and Londo)
I've been thinking about writing my own version of the events after Londo became emperor; basically what Peter David did in his Legions of Fire trilogy, but, well, different. Shorter, for one, but hopefully more satisfying to me emotionally. It's not an original thought, I know. I'm sure everyone who read Peter David's trilogy and found it sadly lacking in, erm, many things (by which I don't mean I can't believe anyone read it and didn't find it lacking, just that I know I'm not the only one who was disappointed by it) must have had that same thought. But up till now, for me, it was just a wild idea. At first I didn't feel confident enough to write that type of story, and then afterwards my enthusiasm over the show flagged a little and it was inspiration I missed. But this year's Yuletide, along with the recent B5 revival on tumblr, seems to have rekindled my love for the show, and if there's one story I'd still like to write in this fandom it has to be that one, so...

I was on vacation in Austria last week, and I actually started plotting a very vague outline. I even wrote what might pass for the first few paragraphs, and thought about how to resolve the storyline about the Drakh occupation of Centauri Prime. Cut for spoilery ramble. ) So, all things considered, I'd say I'm closer to writing this thing than I've ever been. And I have no other fannish commitments, so I could spend all the time on it that I need, which is good too.

That said, resolving to write this thing would still be a commitment – it's not likely to turn into a 100k epic because that would take me ages knowing the rate at which I write, but still, even 10 to 20k might take me a while to finish. So I'd very much like to know before I throw myself into it: would anyone out there be interested in reading this story?

I'll be fair – at this point I have no idea what the story will turn into. I can tell you some things it won't be, though. It won't be a fix-it. It won't be an epic Londo/G'Kar love story (there might be hints of Londo/G'Kar, but there'd be Londo/Timov as well, and in any case it would be a gen story at heart). It won't be an AU, so it won't have a happier ending than canon does. It also won't be nearly as long or epic as Peter David's Centauri trilogy. But it would be an attempt to do some of the same characters more justice than I feel was the case in the trilogy. One of the main reasons why I was disappointed with the novels was that I felt not a single one of the main characters – Vir, Londo, Timov, G'Kar, Mariel – came out of it with their dignity intact. In terms of characterization, Londo probably fared better than the rest, but then most of his sections had the issue of devolving into a whumpfest that would put some of the more intense whumpfests in, say, SGA fandom to shame. (No, I do not need to read about a character I love soiling himself during a torture session with the Drakh; I don't mind angst, but there's angst and then there's whump, mister David, and you don't appear to know the difference). So one of the things I'd do is focus on those characters – Londo, Vir, G'Kar and Timov, definitely, maybe Mariel, Delenn, David Sheridan, possibly Lennier – and try to give them some space to shine within the boundaries of the story.

Realistically, I'd have to make this a WIP to pull this off. That in itself may deter people from reading, I know. But I don't see myself writing something of this scale in one go. I have never posted a WIP before, but if it helps, I have never started any story that I didn't finish eventually (though I have been known to take a *long* time to finish :) ). So I might try to write and post this at a rate of, say, one new section of the story every one or two weeks. How does that sound?

There it is, you guys. What do you think? I was thinking maybe this could use a poll, because everything is better with tickyboxes, but it seems I can't do polls anymore since I let my paid LJ account expire. :( Still, poll or no, please tell me if you have any thoughts!
amatara: (starstuff - black and white)
Because [personal profile] selenak guessed the B5 fic I wrote for Yuletide, I wrote her a ficlet! She asked for something exploring Regent Virini, so here goes. (Did you know, by the way, there wasn't even a character tag for the poor Regent on AO3? How sad is that?)

Title: The Quiet Ones
Fandom: Babylon 5
Characters: Regent Milo Virini, Londo Mollari
Summary: The life and death of Regent Virini - one of the quiet ones history is bound to forget.
Rating: G
Word Count: 900


Ficlet: The Quiet Ones )

 

Or read it on AO3.


amatara: (yuletide tree)
Wishing you all the very best for the coming year! Far be it for me to know what the future should bring to make you happy, so let me offer no big, booming wishes but just a small something to warm your heart, like you've all warmed mine with your words and your stories and your art and your presence:



It also happens to be my New Year's resolution for this year to remember this. :) I do that far too rarely.


Meanwhile, Yuletide reveal has happened, so finally, away with the secrecy! I wrote four stories in three fandoms: my official assignment as well as three treats.


Putting Out Fire (With Gasoline) (9128 words) by Amatara
Fandom: Twin Peaks
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: Gen
Warning: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Dale Cooper, Harry Truman, Audrey Horne, Albert Rosenfield, Annie Blackburn, Lucy Moran, Dennis "Denise" Bryson
Summary: When you've pulled someone back from the brink, how do you put them back together again? A series of recordings and interviews, made at the Spokane Valley Hospital, where Dale Cooper was taken after being freed from BOB's control.

I've been frantic about this story from the moment I read my assignment, which was basically 'please write about Dale Cooper - apart from that, anything goes'. The lack of optional details had me flailing for a while to come up with a plot bunny that was both meaty enough for a longer story and something I hadn't done before. I ended up writing a series of post-canon character interviews recounting the story of Cooper's rescue and the inevitable messy picking-up-the-pieces afterwards. The first-person POV may have been a bigger gamble than I thought (I was about halfway into the story when there was this huge 'I loathe first-person POV' thread on FFA, so that was a little ouch) but in the end, with the help of my two lovely betas, I managed to put something together I think I can feel proud of. My one remaining fear now is my recipient, because they left a 'will come back later, when I have more time' comment and so far I haven't heard back from them. I do hope I wrote them something they enjoyed! *frets*


The Tender Boughs of Innocence (4398 words) by Amatara
Fandom: Twin Peaks
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: Gen
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Albert Rosenfield, Gordon Cole, Chet Desmond, Dennis "Denise" Bryson, Dale Cooper
Summary: Albert didn't reckon himself a coward, a crybaby or a cream puff. What he was was a tender twenty-nine, which at the Bureau still counted as green behind the ears, but he had skill and wit and a bloodhound's instinct for clues, and he didn't rattle easily. Which was what had earned him this case to begin with. Right now, calling him 'rattled' would be stating it mildly.

Written as a treat for [personal profile] firerose, who specifically requested Albert-centric fic in which he gets to interact with other FBI agents besides Cooper. I adore Albert, so this was a challenge I couldn't pass up! Pre-canon case fic this time, which is also something I never did before.


Sharing is Caring (3127 words) by Amatara
Fandom: Boston Legal
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: Gen
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Alan Shore, Denny Crane, Shirley Schmidt
Summary: Denny wants a threesome for his birthday. Alan isn't thrilled. Shirley is caught in the middle.

I discovered Boston Legal not too long ago and instantly devoured all five seasons, and I was just itching to write fic for it this Yuletide! [livejournal.com profile] alexcat's Yuleletter requested Alan & Denny interaction, and I had great time putting together a snark-filled little treat.


In Flagrante (2048 words) by Amatara
Fandom: Babylon 5
Rating: Mature
Category: M/M
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: G'Kar/Londo Mollari
Characters: G'Kar, Londo Mollari, Delenn, Vir Cotto
Summary: Three times Londo and G'Kar were caught in the act: one happy, one angry, one sad.

Honestly, I hadn't planned on writing any B5 this year. But as it happened, my trusted Twin Peaks beta [archiveofourown.org profile] Nemo_the_Everbeing had  just discovered the fandom, promptly offered it for Yuletide, and got matched on it. The result is the absolutely stunning The Subtle Arangement of Stones (which I absolutely recommend to anyone who loves the fandom!) of which I got a sneak preview because I helped beta it... and suddenly I was in love with B5 all over again! After which I just couldn't resist [personal profile] aria's heartfelt plea for more Londo/G'Kar fic. This will, of course, surprise no one. (Least of all [dreamwidth.org profile] selenak, who immediately guessed this story was mine.)


All in all, it's been a good Yuletide for me. I got lovely gift stories and some wonderful comments on my own stories and writing was fun and productive - but I did realize how much more stressed I get when I actually have an official assignment, as compared to when I'm just writing treats like I did last year. So now I'm mulling over my strategy for next year. Signing up, which means a gift story but also more stress, or going for the more relaxed treat-writing experience again. Mmhmm, dilemmas... 


amatara: (TP Cooper and Albert)
I've been lucky enough never to have been active in a fandom (or at least not been in contact with that particular part of said fandom) where character hatred and My Ship Versus Your Ship were things to worry about. Not that the phenomenon didn't exist at all in 'my' fandoms, but it was rare enough that you could avoid it by just being moderately cautious which fannish circles to frequent. Part of the reason, I think, is that the fandoms dearest to my heart are small and rare and not very recent, which is a pretty good incentive for fans to stick together. At least that's how it was on LJ and DW, which were my main fannish playgrounds so far.

On tumblr, though... Nope.

So I thought it would be a fun idea to track some tags for fandoms that I like. I've been in a haze of Twin Peaks love for some time, ever since rewatching parts of it when writing my last fanfic, so the twin peaks tag was an obvious choice.

Oh. Oh, dear.

Honestly, I never thought I'd see that kind of hatred of characters, ships, cast members, and so on, or that kind of vitriol directed at fans for expressing certain opinions, about A CULT SHOW THAT'S OVER 20 YEARS DEAD.

Did you know there's a tumblr called laraflynnboyle-liferuiner? Which delivers exactly what the name advertises: collected nastiness about Donna Hayward and actress Lara Flynn Boyle (particularly, how she is allegedly solely responsible for ruining Twin Peaks' second season by veto'ing the Dale/Audrey relationship? Ummm... Yeah, right).

And did you know that there's an Audrey/Cooper shipping war raging, and that it's apparently not done to both like Annie as a character and her relationship with Cooper, and like Audrey as a character and her friendship with Cooper? No, because if you like Annie then you're a moron who doesn't know what decent character building is, and if you like Audrey and Cooper together then you're a shallow shipper bitch who doesn't care about anything but shipping... or at least that's what I gleaned from posts like this one, or this or this.

Seriously, it makes me feel dirty just to read the stuff.

I already unfollowed a few so-called 'fannish' blogs because of this shite.
I'm seriously considering never looking at the twin peaks tag ever again, and just stick to following the small handful of fans who seem to think sharing squee about this show beats pouring vitriol onto it, and who don't let their dislike of certain characters (which is perfectly fine to have, btw) ruin their own and other fans' enjoyment of the show. I might have expected that of a new, shiny fandom, but... Really, tumblr? Really?

(That said, there are definitely fandoms on tumblr that don't have this issue, and that are all about sharing the love - the Babylon 5 fandom being a prime example of that. So it's not that I'm disgusted with fandom on tumblr as a whole. Just... certain bits of it. And I'd like to believe that tumblr having a younger audience than LJ explains it, but I don't really think that's true, and even if it is it's not an excuse.)

Gah, how I miss LJ the way it was a few years ago, when everything was still shiny and happy and active and yay!

Come baaaaack, everyone! Can't we just have a great big squeefest here? I WANTS IT, PRECIOUSSSS... *yearn*
amatara: (Londo and G'Kar - armies cannot stand)
Hi there! I'm still here, and doing pretty much okay. Real-life hecticness (is that even a proper noun?) keeps preventing me from being anything close to active on here, but please know I haven't vanished into thin air! What I have been is thwarted by tendinitis (wrist brace! antiinflammatory meds! bring 'em on!) which in theory means I should be typing as little as possible, but ah, seems I don't have that discipline. Anyway, I've had yesterday off and was struck by the sudden need to write something, anything, to make me feel part of fandom again. So [livejournal.com profile] mithen, remember the promise I once made to write you a birthday story, dealing with Londo and G'Kar's first meeting? I know it's been ages, and as a birthday gift this is ridiculously late (or early!) but I finally got round to it. Please forgive the delay, and I hope you won't mind I twisted your prompt just a little to satisfy my own angsty cravings. :)

Title: Eye of the Beholder
Fandom: Babylon 5
Characters: Londo Mollari, G'Kar, Vir Cotto, with cameos of Michael Garibaldi and Timov.
Summary: Later, Londo would tell himself he had seen G'Kar's face a million times in his sleep. But that is not how it happened. Not quite.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2000 words
Author's Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] mithen, whom I once promised this story - and then took nearly a year to actually write it. *facepalm* Also for [livejournal.com profile] selenak, who has been and always shall be an inspiration to me in all matters Londo Mollari. And for [tumblr.com profile] Avelera, who has been so gently trying to tempt me back into the B5 fold, and whom due to too darn little free time I've had to disappoint far too often. Hope this helps. :)

Fic: Eye of the Beholder )

(I, um, may have gotten a little rusty in my writing? It feels like that, anyway, after half a year of writing nothing at all - but I still appreciate feedback and concrit just as much as I used to. :) )

amatara: (Default)
1. The online fannish experience. Never mind all my angsting over readership, popularity, being remembered and recognized, or the occasional oh-my-god-am-I-a-good-author-or-not panic attack, please don't doubt this for a moment: every single reader, every comment or bit of feedback that I receive is precious to me. Every single person I get to interact with online, whether it's in a deeply philosophical discussion or just to exchange a tiny random little fact, is precious to me. I may be writing primarily because I love to write, but I'm posting because I love the interaction and the company, and I'm grateful for every friend and/or acquaintance I've made here. Don't you doubt it.

2. Babylon 5(*), for tempting me back into the fannish fold as an adult, about a decade after having (supposedly) grown out of it sometime in my late teenage years. Turns out I hadn't grown out of it at all. On the contrary, my love for certain fandoms and characters is much deeper now than back when I was still a teen crushing on Captain Kirk. *g* I love the kind of shared fannish experience that isn't just about squeeing over a show (even though it can, and should, be that too!) but also about bringing one's personal thoughts and opinions to a fandom, trying to make sense of it and enhance it and turn it into something personal, something that can be a lot more than, to quote the famous William Shatner sketch, "just a TV show."

(*) Most specifically, Peter Jurasik, Stephen Furst and the late Andreas Katsulas, for bringing to life their characters in a way that made me absolutely, unconditionally and fully, fall in love with them. Without them, I might never have had the impulse to come back to fandom at all.

3. BBC 2, for having aired the original Star Trek back when I was thirteen or so, which was what turned me into a sci-fi fan in the first place. Much as I've grown attached to the online experience, I'm also grateful for having been a fan in the days before the internet and DVDs, when all there was were magazines and VCR, and people still had pen pals, and the only way I ever got to buy Star Trek novels was by traveling to London and paying a visit to the Forbidden Planet. Not because those days were so much better, but because to have known a time where every scrap of fannish material you found, be it as small as a newspaper cutting, was a squee-worthy discovery, only makes me appreciate fandom in the internet age that much more!

4. Conventions. Specifically, living within a 300-kilometer radius of mainland Europe's best (as far as I know) and, these days, only, large sci-fi convention, being FedCon in Germany. It may be less spectacular than the USA's mega-cons, which I've never had the chance to go to, but it's friendly and atmospheric, and they always have a number of great guests. For instance, I saw Leonard Nimoy there, and Nichelle Nichols, and Brent Spiner and Robert Picardo and Kate Mulgrew; right after the BSG finale they had E.J. Olmos, Michael Hogan and James Callis, and the year right before that Mary McDonnell. My biggest frustration is still that they had a heap of Babylon 5 guests just a year before I discovered the show: there was Stephen Furst, and Julie Caitlin Brown, and Bruce Boxleitner and Peter Jurasik did a joint panel there, for heaven's sake, and I didn't even knew who the guys were! I was like: why is the audience going wild for a guy who played a middle-aged alien with a ridiculous hairdo? Gah, how ignorant I was... :)

5. In terms of specific fannish experiences to be grateful for: having lived though the Harry Potter rage first-hand. I'm not going to claim they were the best novels I've ever written or the best movies I've ever seen, but it was the most memorable fannish phenomenon I've been part of so far, and I loved every moment of it. I loved buying the books the moment they came out and then reading until the sun came up; I loved seeing the movies as they were being made, with all the long waits in between, and all those young actors growing up throughout them; and I loved how it all ended last year, not with a whimper but a bang. I wouldn't want have missed it for the world.

amatara: (g'kar)

So here it is, finally! My second [livejournal.com profile] help_japan story, this one for the lovely [livejournal.com profile] yetanothermask, who asked for post-canon Lyta/G'Kar fic, G'Kar's POV. It took me ages to finish this, but, combined with the B5 revival over on Tumblr, which I've been cautiously following from the sidelines, I really am getting nostalgic for the show all over again. I've even started reediting some of my old B5 fics (and, boy, some of my early ones could really do with some editing) just to get a feel for the characters again. Go figure. :)

Any feedback is loved, con-crit included – it feels like ages since I posted something other than a drabble in this fandom, so I'd be thrilled if you'd let me know what you think! ♥

ETA: now also up on AO3!

Title:
Incontournable
Fandom: Babylon 5
Summary: Lyta was always going to choose her own path; all G'Kar could hope for was she'd end up choosing it for the right reasons. That didn't make it any easier to let her go. Post-canon, so spoilers for all of the series.
Characters: G'Kar, Lyta Alexander.
Rating: PG-13. Practically gen, apart from one paragraph which really isn't. Contains implied past Lyta/Kosh, Lyta/Byron, and Londo/G'Kar. 
Word Count: ~4000
Thanks to: Avelera, for the beta!

Fic: Incontournable )

amatara: (Timov and Londo)
Title: Love and Loathing
Fandom: Babylon 5
Characters: Londo Mollari, Susan Ivanova
Rating: G
Word Count: 400
Notes: For [livejournal.com profile] maspalio, who wanted to see me put words to this scene over at [tumblr.com profile] b5fanworks, involving, basically, Londo, Susan, and booze. Naturally, I hastened to oblige. *g*
Set in mid-season 2, just after the episode "Soul Mates" (aka the one with Londo and his wives).

Again, not strictly a drabble, but hey, you try channeling Londo into a measly 100 words! This guy just talks too darned much (and don't we love him for it ;)).

Drabble: Love and Loathing )

Or read it at AO3.

*flails*

Jul. 16th, 2011 01:38 pm
amatara: (SGA Elizabeth)
In lieu of a proper post, have a list of flail... *sigh*

1. I'm just - so - tired. Not plain sleepy tired or overworked-tired but the kind of numbing, inexplicable, queasy, drill-through-the-head kind of exhaustion that crashes into you without warning and leaves you wanting nothing else than to curl up on the sofa and sleep, sleep, sleep. The only time I've had this before was last year when I struggled with blood pressure shenanigans, but last year I was in the middle of a grueling project at work so there was really no doubt about it being work-related. Then Project of Doom finished last March, and in May husband and I took a three-week-holiday during which I was still tired (to the point of being forced to have dinner of cookies and crisps in the hotel room a few times because I didn't feel up to getting out of bed). And now I've started work on a follow-up project which is admittedly intense, but nothing compared to the amount of work I pulled off last year, and I'm still tired.

It's not as bad as during those few weeks last year when I was a total wreck, but it's just that it won't pass this time, no matter how much I try to catch up on sleep. I had my blood tested, but it turned up nothing. So now I'm cautiously starting to wrap my head around thoughts that rhyme with 'burn-out' and wondering if it's possible that Project of Doom wore me out more than I thought it had. Very cautiously, mind you, but it's either that or getting scared that it'll turn out to be something else altogether, which is helpful to no one.

2. Being tired makes me irritable and prone to overreacting, which doesn't help things. Especially since I'm now teamed up with a colleague who is the sweetest guy on earth but also a bundle of nerves like you wouldn't believe. He's a fountain of knowledge, but he also needs constant hand-holding and reassurance about everything ranging from his priorities to the wording of his emails. I'm not sure if I feel up to being the anchor of his professional universe right now.

3. More complicating factors: they've just started construction on what's going to be our future home, which is fun and thrilling but also brings a lot of important decisions. Between that, work, and the diet I've been on (I put on a few kilos over the last years, and was wondering if those could be part of the cause for my health issues, so - death to those kilos!) it feels like I'm doing little else than working my way through to-do lists these days. Husband is helpful and supportive and is doing a great job making life easier for me, but he has a busy job of his own so there's only so much he can do.

4. I AM IN A FANNISH EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, GUYS.

Fandom's still my haven, but I'm so passive in it these days and it's driving me crazy. I hardly post anymore, and whenever I think about those help_japan stories I still need to finish, I freeze up. I had an upsurge of fannish energy after watching X-Men: First Classand even wrote a short story, but it hasn't lasted. I got as far as typing up a few ideas for the B5 fic I owe [profile] crossing_hades, but I'll need to re-watch some episodes in order to write something half decent, and just - PANIC. (Anyone who can give me some pointers on what would be the essential eps to re-watch for a post-canon G'Kar & Lyta story? Would be a life-saver. I'm pretty confident about post-canon G'Kar, but Lyta - not so much.)

Basically I've just been reading fic and browsing other people's journals, which is when husband usually (and rightfully) drops the question if I wouldn't be better off (A) sleeping, or (B) working on the plans for the house. I can't help thinking he may be right. But then, of course, the moment I stop writing fic is inevitably the moment I start thinking thoughts like "why am I writing anyway" and "if I stop writing, will people even remember any of my stories" and "omg I never get recced ever" (which isn't quite true, but, you know, drama queen) and "whatever I do, I'll never make a lasting impression with my fanfic like other/better/more prolific writers do" and... well, you know. I know it's irrational. It's unnecessary. It's stupid. Yet I can't seem to stop myself.

Cheer me up, guys, please! Cheer-lead me, pat my vitual shoulder, tell me you'll stil be re-reading my fic when you're old and worn and tucked away in a nursing home. Hug me, link me to vids, fics, stuff to make me smile. Be awesome. Be here.

5. On a positive note: going to see the new Harry Potter later today. I have been looking forward to this for so long. The trailers all looked so very awesome. And it's quite possible is this still spoiling anyone? ) will make me cry.

6. Oh, and another positive note! (see? Things aren't half bad when you start to think about it. :) ) Saw the first episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day. The old-fashioned way, Thursday night on BBC. And loved it. Oh Gwen, Rhys, Jack.

.

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